'Fess up: who ordered theVanilla Diet Coke?

Nightmarish fridge discovery #73: opening my bar fridge to see that I bought Vanilla Diet Coke instead of the regular nectar-of-the-Gods, tried-‘n-true concoction. High drama!

Other than the VDC debacle, what's new with me? I joined a slo-pitch league on Sunday, which could prove to be verrrry interesting. Have I mentioned just how incredibly terrible I am at slo-pitch?! I played once with an Intrawest team about a month after I moved to the Vancouver Corporate office from Whistler -- way back in 1998 -- and it was one of the most embarrassing things I've ever done in my adult life. I swear to God, I was scarred for, well, I guess it's been 6-1/2 years. This league is a gay and lesbian league, so they make it pretty clear that beginners are welcome, and they say it's a fun and social environment. I sure as hell hope so, cuz judging by the way I struck out (verrrry badly) in my first at-bat in Sunday's beginners' game, this could be a long and interesting season : (

I managed to squeak out a single in my next at-bat, but there's definitely room for improvement in my batting. And that's not even touching on my throwing. I always say I throw like a girl, but I had to bite my tongue, cuz I'm pretty sure the lesbians wouldn't have been OK with that. They would have fingered their toolbelts menacingly and said, "You throw nothing like me, chump. You throw like a freakin' fag!" This could be a long and interesting season : (

So, there's even more room for improvement with my throwing than there is with my batting? Well, it's all about pushing the envelope, expanding my horizons, working on growth and development, blah blah blah. Luckily I can run faster than most of the clowns who were playing yesterday, so at least I have some talent. They placed me on a team of lesbians that needed men -- despite the fact that I told them my Y chromosome means simply that I have a penis and slightly more body hair than them gals. To be clear, though, I'm talking only about slightly more body hair -- did ya check out the growth on some of those girls' legs? Anyway, I warned them that my Y chrome. doesn't mean I had any ball-playing skill. As it turns out, however, my team captain Trudy said The Devils are destined to be a social, have-fun, let's-go-drinking team more than a take-no-prisoners, win-at-all-costs crew. High five! (Oh God, I'm such a high-fivin' white guy.) This could be a long and interesting season : )