The opposite effect

Ironic: purposely taking the time and effort to clear up rumours, address misconceptions and allay fears in an effort to improve communication, but instead (somehow) creating mistrust and opportunities for outsiders to question my motives.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's not actually ironic as much as it is utterly demoralizing.

Fuck. I'm not even sure that I trust my judgment any more. And I have to wonder why these outsiders even care, to be honest. It's not like I care about what they're up to.

Someone who's recently become a very valued ally told me the other day that sometimes there seems to be an overriding philosophy of not showing your vulnerabilities, or being too honest. I'm not sure I agree with that -- in fact, I've worked hard to get to the point where I'm finally able to honestly admit my weaknesses and ask for help. Isn't recognizing our weaknesses one of the things that makes us stronger?

Who keeps changing the freakin' rules on me?!

But on a completely unrelated topic, last night was great. I was invited to a wine and cheese at The Boxer's place, and it was lovely. Before I knew it, my clock said 3AM and no M&M's cheese in sight. But what a nice change of pace after a frustrating week!