Back in Bangers for beaucoup de bargains

It's amazing just how cheap the street shopping is in Bangkok. You can walk among the vendors of the filthy, overcrowded, no-place-to-let-your-kids-run-amongst-it-all lanes and alleys of Bangkok and get nearly anything you need.

Need a pair of knock-off designer jeans/sunglasses/shoes/anything? They got it. How 'bout a fake designer watch/tie/handbag/logo shirt/anything? Natch. Searching for that new chart-topping CD or just-released-in-theatres DVD? Bangers is your place. And it just goes on and on.

Now, I'm not one for designer goods -- authentic or otherwise -- but it's hard not to think how easy it would be to look like a complete poser a million bucks by picking up some of this crap. In fact, it wasn't hard to see the bastiens of middle America lappin' it all up. I can just hear Mrs. Sylvia Saddlebags talkin' lying to her neighbour back home in Topeka, Kansas: "Oh ya, Edna, it's an authentic designer Looo-is Vooo-tawn handbag that I picked up. My husband Morty is very good to me."

Nope, that ain't my game. Instead, I opt for the cache of goods that aren't designer rip-offs. Consider that I picked up a neat bundle of 3 silk ties for the equivalent of $6 Canadian. They aren't rip-offs of any famous designer or anything like that, just good quality, 100% silk, beautiful ties that will probably sit in my sock drawer cuz I don't wear ties anymore will look nice with a crisp dress shirt.

The whole Bangers atmosphere is surreal. The crowds, the heat and humidity, the pollution -- oy, the pollution!! -- and the Asian mystique. While I didn't see a ping pong show in some cheap girly bar, I did have the displeasure of watching an interesting "cabaret" show put on by a plethora of underfed Thai boys in a way-at-the-end-of-a-drk-alley dive bar. The show started with an onstage parade of clones in matching white outfits, all for the benefit of the creepy men in the audience to pick out a favourite boy to be their viewing companion for the remainder of the evening. Ick. And the "entertainment" continued with a candle-and-wax dance, a traditional Thai dance (actually the traditional choreography and costumes were stunning), followed by a very unique naked water ballet number,and finishing up with a live sex act that started onstage and moved into the audience.

It was about that time that I gracefully made my exit. While I felt that I had to at least take in some of the seedy nightlife of Bangkok, on that level it's just not erotic.

I flew from Bangers to Phuket this morning, arriving at Patong Beach to find free internet in my hotel room. Hence this post, and (hopefully) a few more to come while I'm here.

Now excuse me while I go outside and explore this place!