Without permission from anyone

The tan is developing quite nicely, thanks. And I've gotten more Christmas shopping done while I've been here, too. Check and check.

I met a guy from Vancouver while I was in Bangkok a few days ago, and he told me that Vancouver had been covered in snow. Egad! I know how that paralyzes the city like nothing else ever could besides a strike that closes all the Starbucks outlets, but here's the real proof.

Day 2 - Vancouver Blizzard 2005 - Revenge of the Commuters

Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional 1/4 centimeter of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops.

Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in to assess the situation. With temperatures dipping to the almost, but-not-quite-near, zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes before venturing out. Police recommended that people stay inside except for emergencies, such as running out for espresso or biscotti to see them through Vancouver's worst storm in years.

Local Canadian Tire outlets reported that they had completely sold out of their stock of fur-lined sandals. Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it. Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast implants. Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below.

"The authorities have to do something," snarled angry local resident Trevor Warburton. "I didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto."

Unfortunately, it's all a bit too true. Nevertheless, it's the place I call home even though I only keep a Vancouver address on paper for tax reasons and I love it.

(Article provided by Muffin. Printed without permission from anyone.)