Bitchslapped

The job that I feel so much passion for and do so well, no longer exists. And the worst-case scenario is that I'll be unemployed at the end of October. The best-case scenario, on the other hand, is that I'll find something different, just as good or better.

I sat down and spoke with the incoming director on my tour who will be hiring the team that he takes to our new markets in 2007. There's a new role on our tour that sounds very interesting, to be honest. It's in line with much of my years-past experience and would be a huge departure from what I'm currently doing, but it really intrigues me.

It was the first time in a long time that I felt like someone was listening to what I had to say with an open mind and attitude. I had a chance to meet him, tell him a little bit about myself, ask some insightful questions, and casually and naturally impress him with my knowledge. And I realized it might be kinda cool working for him.

But today, I also have an interview for a position on a different tour. If that comes through, it would be really cool. Ironically, my interview is at the exact same time as our redeployment meeting is scheduled. It's OK -- if I take this job, I won't have to worry about redeployment anyway -- but I'd like to have information about all of my options before making any firm career decisions.

Without going into too much detail, the elimination of my job on all of our tours really hurts me. Mostly, I feel that my contribution and accomplishment have been extremely devalued. And that's what makes me feel like I've been bitchslapped.

Repeatedly.

Over the past seven months.

To the point where I need to remember that me being right for any particular position in this company, has to be balanced against whether that position, and this company, are really and truly right for me.