Last time

San Diego Tear Down with the best crew ever: (from left) Lucky, Angie, me, and Tower Girl (Feb/06)

This is what it looked like last time. We had finished most some of the work tearing down in San Diego, and stopped to pose for some pics with really special people. One of them was Angie, and knowing that I wouldn't see her ever again made me very, very sad.

You know how there are these amazing people in your life who breeze in, touch you, make you laugh or cry or even (gasp!) think, help you realize something about yourself, and then disappear again? Angie was one of them. She worked for us as a temp staff usher in San Diego, and I was lucky enough to be able to the lucky recipient of her presence several times a week in my tent.

Angie wasn't one of my staff and never worked for me directly. Instead, she was one of the "outside" crew members loaned to me to help us check guests' tickets or work in the boutique during a show. Angie was one of those helpers who would show up (always on time, by the way!), and you'd immediately feel like it was going to be a great show. She was one of the standouts that I always hoped would be scheduled to work in my tent, and would always deliver the goods.

Lucky and Tower Girl were Angie's supervisors, and purposely scheduled her to work in my tent because she loved working there, and I loved having her. Nobody embodied what we want in our temp staff better than Angie -- personality plus, attention to detail, giving spirit, smile to light up the heavens. She and I had a mutual admiration goin' on, and she kept telling me how she would go home and tell her husband all about me and all sorts of crazy stuff like that. I was so happy to finally meet her husband on our second-last day in San Diego, and it was nice to see how charming and handsome he is. They clearly make a great couple.

One of the things I like about finishing up a city is this part of Tear Down -- the part that you see in this picture. This is the time when you get to pose for pictures with those special staff with whom you loved working, whom you'll miss, and whom you'll often think about in a few cities' time when their counterparts just aren't cuttin' the mustard. I can honestly tell ya, when my temp staff just aren't "getting it," I'll hear myself think, "Why can't they be like Roz and Robbie from Melbourne, LJ from Singapore, Dennis and Morris from Hong Kong, or Natalie from San Diego? They were awesome!"

Tonight, I'm sure there will be pictures taken. In fact, I've already packed my camera, cuz I've warned Peggy, Danielle and Gail from our Merch team that I want to have a proper good-bye with them on Tear Down day. And one of my very own staff, Valerie, is someone whose personality and spirit will always remain with me as an example of the kind of people we need to have working for us at circus. You can bet that I'm gonna get a picture with that girl tonight!

Amid the chaos of Tear Down, I'll manage to find the time for some special and personal moments -- you have to, or else you can't get any closure with these people, these stars. The good-byes will be brief, but the flashbulbs will flash furiously, the hugs will be held just a wee bit longer than normal, and the eye contact will be just a little bit more sincere. I know it's the last time I'll see them, and I want to make sure they know just how much they've meant to me. Because I know full well how much we -- all of us at the circus -- have meant to them.

These moments are among the most fulfilling of this whole crazy circus life. A wise woman once told me, "Never underestimate the impact you have on these people."

I try not to underestimate that impact. And I sure as heck miss Angie!